Nomad or Sojourner, or a Simple Twist of Fate?

I am ashamed of myself for the way that I have been lately. I know in my heart of hearts that Jesus knows what is best for me, and He would never ask me to walk where He can't hold me up. My problem is that I am weak and I cannot seem to come to terms with what He is now allowing in my life. I grew up in 27 houses, 20+ schools and the only stability I ever felt as a child was at my grandparents home. I knew they would be there, they were not nomads like we were: they worked and lived on their property until they were gone.  Growing up, I felt like one of the characters from "Of Mice and Men", listening to my father, pleading, "tell us again, dad".....dreaming of the Utopia he always painted for us.  The next place would always be better. The new town was a fresh start. Then the move that settled them in one place for twenty years, my mother crying all the way to the new beginning- I was already 14. Another new school, another place to try and fit in, make friends, feel comfortable.  I remember in third grade, leaving school after a few months, and moving to our next best place, only to return to the same school a short time later. Then being humiliated by the teacher asking why did we leave and come back?  Then staying in the same school for 3 grades: third, fourth and fifth, even if we lived in 3 different houses. I cried when we had to go again. Bouncing back and forth between NJ and Florida, never knowing what would happen when I came home from school. But I did have my grandparents, my aunts, uncles, and cousins. They provided the only hope of home and stability I could ever imagine. Then marriage... a chance to start off fresh, maybe find a spot to settle down and live out a new life. The first few years of my children's lives were unsettled, too. We struggled to find a place to settle in... then we did. I swore when I moved into our current house, that the only way I was leaving was in a pine box. Well, financial difficulties plagued us, ill health, cancer, sick child, loss of employment, death of parents, but we struggled through. Then a happy time, watching our children grow and graduate and marry.  The grandchildren started to arrive. Happy times, good memories.  We were finally settled, in a place of comfort, and I felt like I was the luckiest person alive; to have a wonderful husband, and beautiful children and now grandchildren that would be able to have their own memories of growing up here. Then came a black wall, an abusive spouse, and hurt daughter, two babies needing their mama....court battles and lawyer fees... almost 4 full years of constant pain. Struggling to keep a positive attitude, a focused mind at work, and a step ahead of the bills, we almost made it through. Then, on top of it all, an aging mother in law, a sister in law fighting for life and a husband who could not do anything but help. Thank God for his selflessness. In spite of the situation, a lost income. Now we are forced to leave our home of 25 years, forced to give up everything we worked so hard to accomplish. I feel like I am losing my whole world. It's not a mansion, it's far from it.. it's not a showcase, but a well lived in home, with memories that flood the walls and echo through them...a place of refuge that now is being taken, not only from me, but from my grandchildren who live here and play here.  I listened as one of them said it was a homey, comfortable place to be; another who asked if he could stay here even if I died. Even the baby knows this is nana and oppie's house. What cruel twist of fate can grab this from our lives and take everything away? I struggle, wanting to let go, wanting to follow what the Lord has for me, but I breakdown in tears each time anyone says something about home. Will we have a home? Will I be able to leave all these memories and dust them from my mind?  I cannot believe how cruel this world is! I feel like my whole life is being whisked away into another dark cavern. I ask myself what horrible thing have I done to have this happen? I could be more settled by a tornado strike or a hurricane, than to have this happen. My whole sense of me is being tested here, and I am afraid I am failing miserably. My faith, my life, my stability is being washed away by a current of mishaps that never should have been.  What irony! Am I destined to be a street person, a nomad that has been pushed back to the original state of being? One who can never make it as a stable person?   My faith is really weak right now, I stand before my God, wanting to please Him, but not knowing how. I know we are to be sojourners in this life, but is this the way that is accomplished? Have mercy and pity on me, O God! I do not know how to get through this.